It was a necktie I couldn’t bring myself to wear all day… one of our children had purchased me a “beautiful” polyester tie she had bought for a few dollars at her school’s pop-up gift shop for Father’s Day. Forget my other ties from Brooks Brothers or Jos. A. Banks, this tie’s highly sophisticated and stylistic design was a marvel to behold; brightly colored footballs, baseballs, soccer balls and more, as well as flames, oh how the flames made this new tie the “pièce de résistance” to my professional attire. I must admit, I didn’t have the gumption to wear this gracious gift, that my daughter had bestowed on me, to work all day. Besides, I doubt my audience would have been able to take me as seriously as my scheduled presentation required that day. I did, however, make sure to wear it as I left home, and put it back on before arriving home that evening, slightly loosened and esque for effect.
We appreciate the small things our children do for us, even if it doesn’t measure up to our adult sensibilities, because we love them and we want to encourage the thought and heart behind them. As fathers, our hearts are towards them; to bless them and serve them, to help them grow, and protect them. Just as Psalm 40:5 (ESV) declares, God’s thoughts are toward us as well. Because He is a good father, and His heart and thoughts are continuously towards us, our Lord seeks after the ones who are lost or drifting from Him (Luke 15:4).
Once, our son made a poor decision to leave a location where he was supposed to meet us after a football game. This led to multiple hours without communication, friends helping us drive around the area looking for him, and ultimately, the police bringing him safely back to us. I was reminded of this recently while reading the story of Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. …
In the early morning hours of September 1862, Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. was awakened by a telegram from Maryland that would test every fiber of his being as a father. His son, Captain Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. of the 20th Massachusetts Infantry, had been wounded at the Battle of Antietam. The message was brief and terrifying: “Capt H wounded shot through the neck though not mortal at Keedysville.”
The Battle of Antietam (September 17, 1862) had been the bloodiest single day in American military history with over 22,000 men killed, wounded, or missing. Somewhere among them was Holme’s twenty-one-year-old son.
Without delay, Holmes boarded a train and traveled south toward the war. He moved through Maryland towns overflowing with wounded soldiers. He described those days after the battle, the road filled with straggling and wounded soldiers, and “thousands and tens of thousands had walked the streets with throbbing hearts.” Wagons rattled over muddy roads carrying the injured and the dead. Churches had become hospitals. Public buildings were crowded with men suffering from gunshot wounds and fever.
Holmes searched through the confusion, asking questions, following rumors, and reading lists of casualties. He later shared about his growing anxiety as he questioned countless injured soldiers regarding the whereabouts of his son Oliver, but he refused to stop until he found him.
Finally, after believing he had missed his son entirely, he boarded a train. By chance, or by God’s providence, the two came face to face on that train. “I saw my Captain, my soldier, my wounded and recovered boy.” The young captain, having survived, was finally on his way home, only to discover his father had already been searching tirelessly for him.
This search became legendary among Civil War families and was documented by numerous contemporary sources, including Dr. Holmes Sr.’s own account titled “My Hunt After the Captain” published in the December 1862 issue of The Atlantic Monthly. He closed the article with words from the parable of the prodigal son: “this our son and brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.”
The experience clearly deepened the relationship between father and son. Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. went on to serve with distinction for the remainder of the war and later became regarded as one of the most influential and frequently cited U.S. Supreme Court Justices in American history. Holmes served for nearly 30 years before retiring at age 90, maintaining the record for the oldest justice to ever serve on the Supreme Court.
In Malachi, the final book of the Old Testament, and in the final chapter and verse before Matthew’s gospel begins, the prophet shares that before Christ’s return, God “will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers.” (Malachi 4:6) I am so encouraged, and want you to be as well, that the ministry and mission of Christian Service Brigade is directly at the center of God’s redemptive heart and timing. Men and churches do not have to invent an entirely new program; CSB is doing the Lord’s work by creating the context, material, and programming for biological fathers, adoptive fathers, and spiritual fathers to, in very real and practical ways, turn their hearts to the next generation. This also allows the next generation to open their hearts to the older generation to be discipled by them to be heralds of Christ and His Kingdom.
So, this Father’s Day, wear that ugly tie and show your children that your heart is towards them, and you will never stop pursuing them!
