It was a necktie I couldn’t bring myself to wear all day… one of our children had purchased me a “beautiful” polyester tie she had bought for a few dollars at her school’s pop-up gift shop for Father’s Day. Forget my other ties from Brooks Brothers or Jos. A. Banks, this tie’s highly sophisticated and stylistic design was a marvel to behold; brightly colored footballs, baseballs, soccer balls and more, as well as flames, oh how the flames made this new tie the “pièce de résistance” to my professional attire. I must admit, I didn’t have the gumption to wear this gracious gift, that my daughter had bestowed on me, to work all day. Besides, I doubt my audience would have been able to take me as seriously as my scheduled presentation required that day. I did, however, make sure to wear it as I left home, and put it back on before arriving home that evening, slightly loosened and esque for effect.
We appreciate the small things our children do for us, even if it doesn’t measure up to our adult sensibilities, because we love them and we want to encourage the thought and heart behind them. As fathers, our hearts are towards them; to bless them and serve them, to help them grow, and protect them. Just as Psalm 40:5 (ESV) declares, God’s thoughts are toward us as well. Because He is a good father, and His heart and thoughts are continuously towards us, our Lord seeks after the ones who are lost or drifting from Him (Luke 15:4).
Once, our son made a poor decision to leave a location where he was supposed to meet us after a football game. This led to multiple hours without communication, friends helping us drive around the area looking for him, and ultimately, the police bringing him safely back to us. I was reminded of this recently while reading the story of Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. …
On September 21, 1862, Dr. Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr., a renowned physician and Harvard Medical School professor, received a telegram that would test every fiber of his being as a father. The War Department informed him that his eldest son, Captain Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr. of the 20th Massachusetts Infantry, had been wounded at the Battle of Antietam and was missing.
The Battle of Antietam (September 17, 1862) had been the bloodiest single day in American military history, with over 23,000 casualties in twelve hours. Young Oliver Jr., just 21 years old, had been shot through the neck and left for dead on the battlefield. In the chaos of retreat, his regiment had no idea whether he was alive or dead.
Dr. Holmes Sr. later wrote that receiving this news was “like having my heart torn from my chest while it was still beating.”
Without hesitation, Holmes Sr. headed south into war-torn Maryland. As Holmes Sr. traveled through New York and Philadelphia, he revealed his anguish as a father in his diary: “Every mile takes me closer to knowing whether my boy lives or dies, and I find myself both desperate to arrive and terrified of what I might discover.”
Holmes began his systematic search of field hospitals, churches converted to medical stations, and temporary morgues in Maryland. He carried a photograph of his son and questioned hundreds of soldiers, doctors, and volunteers. Many later remembered the distinguished gentleman with the silver beard who moved from bed to bed, asking the same question: “Have you seen my son, Oliver?”
At Antietam Creek, Holmes actually walked the battlefield itself, now strewn with the debris of war. He later wrote: “I stood where my son had fallen and felt the weight of every father who has ever feared burying his child. The ground itself seemed to cry out with the grief of mothers and fathers across this torn nation.”
Following a lead from a Union soldier he talked to at a field hospital in Hagerstown, Dr. Holmes found his way to a modest farmhouse in nearby Keedysville. There he found his son being cared for by a local family. The moment of reunion was profound; father and son embraced, both men weeping openly.
Oliver Jr. later wrote to his sister: “When I saw father’s face appear in that doorway, I knew that God had not forgotten me. And I saw in his eyes a love that had driven him through enemy territory and across a war zone, simply because I was his son.”
This experience fundamentally changed both men’s relationship. Dr. Holmes Sr. later reflected: “I went south to find my wounded son, but returned with something far greater—a heart that truly understood what it means to be a father. The love I felt during those six days of searching burned away everything trivial and left only what mattered: my son needed me, and nothing else in the world could keep me from him.”
This search became legendary among Civil War families and was documented by numerous contemporary sources, including Dr. Holmes Sr.’s own account titled “My Hunt After the Captain” published in the December 1862 issue of The Atlantic Monthly. Oliver Jr. survived the war to become one of America’s most distinguished Supreme Court Justices. He often credited his father’s search as the moment he truly understood both earthly and heavenly love: “If my earthly father would cross a battlefield to find me, how much more will my Heavenly Father pursue me with His love?”
In Malachi, the final book of the Old Testament, and in the final chapter and verse before Matthew’s gospel begins, the prophet shares that before Christ’s return, God “will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers.” (Malachi 4:6) I am so encouraged, and want you to be as well, that the ministry and mission of Christian Service Brigade is directly at the center of God’s redemptive heart and timing. Men and churches do not have to invent an entirely new program; CSB is doing the Lord’s work by creating the context, material, and programming for biological fathers, adoptive fathers, and spiritual fathers to, in very real and practical ways, turn their hearts to the next generation. This also allows the next generation to open their hearts to the older generation to be discipled by them to be heralds of Christ and His Kingdom.
So, this Father’s Day, wear that ugly tie, and show your children that your heart is towards them, and you will never stop pursuing them!
