The mesmerizing reality of modern technology especially in the lives of our boys is impossible to ignore. But before we rip those glowing devices out of their grasping little hands; before chucking it down the garbage disposal listening with frustrated satisfaction as it grinds its way into the plumbing, we must remember an important truth about discipleship: Problems should be viewed not as an obstacle to endure but as an opportunity to be used. A God honoring, moderated and self-controlled use of technology should drive our technology decisions. Below we have chosen what we believe to be some really helpful truths and tools to help you guide the many conversations you will undoubtedly need to have as you guide your son in his use of electronic devices.

Pray often for wisdom

Effective discipleship is saturated in prayer. The decisions that we must make on behalf of our children are rarely easy: Do I give him a device, take one away, or limit his use? How can I keep him safe and protect his purity? How do I deal with his anger if I say no? And how do I keep myself from throwing his device against the wall?! The answers to these questions always require wisdom, and that only comes from God. The good news is that when we ask for it God promises to give it to us, and in abundance. So parents must be praying, specifically for wisdom. A question to ask: “Am I relying on God’s strength or my own wisdom?”

Tools are as good as the purpose for which we use them

A hammer can be used to repair a structure or to damage a sibling. The problem is not the tool but the wisdom of the hands wielding it. Saying “no” is often easier, and “no” is often the right answer, especially when our boys are really young. But our goal in discipleship is to build our boys into godly men. So we must teach them how to use technology as a tool for honoring God, and this will require a gradual series of “yesses” as our boys earn the right to greater access to technology. A question to ask: “Is technology leading my son away from maturity or toward it?”

For some helpful tools in dealing with technology take a look at this post

An opportunity to teach self-denial

Our culture glorifies immediate gratification, but Jesus calls us to a life that is characterized by giving up ourselves. Technology offers a really powerful opportunity to teach our sons to say no to some of their desires. This may mean simply learning to moderate their use of a phone, saying no to certain types of apps or games, or giving up their devices for a period of time as a “technology fast,” But this process of learning self-denial is something that parents must be explicitly teaching our sons. Show them patiently where they may be abusing the use of a good device or game. Show them how God considers our limited time valuable and how we need to be careful to use our time in a way that will glorify Him.